“Frustrated to Free”

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You know which club most of us belong to and wish we didn’t -

Yes, the Worry about Money Club!

Whether you are in business or it is a personal anxiety,

money is one of the most emotive subjects on the planet.

Most marriage and relationship breakdowns site money differences as a significant element in the discord.

Ditto, in business partnerships - if you can’t agree how to run the money then most other things are irrelevant to the business success.

So, is the answer to have the skills to make everyone else involved in our money matters operate as we would ? I would be lying if I said that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but then at various times throughout my life’s journey, so have other impossible and unhelpful ideas.

Money is such an interesting topic, because it is like a microcosm, your world in one subject, and usually represents how we operate on many other levels and on other topics. Therefore, it is important to take an objective look at the foundational ways in which you relate to money.

These considerations are relevant for business and personal life.

1. What meaning does money have for you?

Many people believe:

Money = Self Worth

This equation represents one of the greatest mistakes in thinking and believing.

It directly links your financial position to your worth as a human being.

Sometimes in a business or personal partnership, an higher earning individual may believe that his/her own wishes are more important and should be given preference, due to the fact that they provide greater $ contribution.

Now, incentives work well - produce more income and receive the benefits eg a car, trips etc. It is not incentives that I’m talking about. It is a personal belief that someone is a better person or more intrinsically worthy due to income status.

This ‘crazy’ equation causes havoc when the income is decreased also.

How many times has a woman who reduces her income to raise a family, feel that she doesn’t have the same ‘esteem’ and ‘rights’ in the household decisions about money.  Equally, a man who is financially contributing to the family can feel enormous stress and threat to his manhood if he is made redundant or takes a lesser wage, as he often feels that he is letting the family down.

For either party this can lead to stress symptoms or even depression.

2. What/Who influences you about money?

We are currently blasted with fear based talk about the economy.

In a way we are a bit like our car. We do not put unclean or poor quality petrol in our car - unheard of.  Yet, we put poor quality messages into our conscious and sub-conscious when we over focus on news and messages of limitation.

Now, I can hear some of you thinking  ”we live in the real world, we need to know what is going on, and financial losses have been suffered due to the current circumstances”.

Yes you do live in the real world, and the solution is to stay optimistic enough to allow new thoughts and creative ideas to come to you so that YOU are the creative force behind the real world you want and you create.

You can live in your world where you believe that you can make your business /family finances a success and find ways to act on that belief, whilst acknowledging that some of the outside world is having a different financial experience and different beliefs.

You can:

• Acknowledge and
• Notice and
• Not let outside circumstances have Impact on your
• Beliefs and Actions of Success.

It has been proven in Brain Based Leadership Studies, that a stressed person has less capacity to remember, organize and produce (even with tasks that they know how to do) that when not stressed.

So literally ‘use your brain’, know how to get the best from it, and that means look for the opportunity, even within a challenge. This will assist not only your capacity to come up with the new good idea, it will also allow you to process it and organize yourself and your resources so that you can carry out your plan and get a result.

Even in the worst of times, people thrive and some build empires.

The difference is not about the money they have or have lost. The difference between thriving and falling is your Attitude and the Beliefs you carry about money.

Your beliefs are your biggest influencer.

We have all heard the following beliefs:

Money doesn’t grow on trees

You have to work hard to get money

Nothing is for free

What I enjoy now I’ll pay for later etc. etc.

These beliefs come under the category of LIMITING beliefs, and they are all FEAR based.

It is impossible to have optimism /hope and fear/restriction at the same time.

Which do you choose?

Does this mean that we ignore responsible behaviour ? eg. spending an responsible amount on the business expansion.

Absolutely not.

Responsible planning with an attitude of enthusiasm will lead you to the next best step in your success. Responsible planning with a fear of failure and a thought of paucity, will surely lead to exactly what you fear.

Keep the responsible planning and do it with JOY and an expectation of success.

Look at your beliefs about money.

Take the time and write down the beliefs about money that you know have influenced you/are influencing you now. You most probably learned them from parents, business models and people with whom you mix.

My beliefs about money________________________________

___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Writing them down is a great strategy because:

• In order to write something down you have to translate it from a feeling to a through - into words- this adds clarity.
• Once out of your head and on paper, you can look at it more objectively and then decide whether this a limiting belief or an empowering belief for achieving your goals.

Your beliefs about money will be directly related to your self esteem around money, and this links us right up to the first point in this article - the You and Money equation.

Here are some equations with limiting beliefs that I have assisted clients to work with and positively change:

Money = Self Worth

Earning  less money than my partner = I am not as valuable in the relationship

Earning  less money = I do not have as much control

Earning  less money = I am not as smart /have enough potential

Earning  less money = I am not as free/my choices are limited

Here are some equations with empowering  beliefs that some of my clients have chosen to take on as their true belief:

Money does not =My Self Worth

I am not my money and my money is not me

I have the capacity to create new opportunities, no matter what the current situation

(of the business, family or world finances)

My real work is to Feel abundant, know what it will be like to have the financial goal I desire and then ACT AS IF I were already experiencing the outcome.

My better feeling, and attitude will energize me to complete the action steps required to put my financial plan into place and achieve my goal.

To finish up this article here is a wonderful quote :

“Lack of money is no obstacle.

Lack of an idea is an obstacle”.

Ken Hakuta

The next article will continue the discussion and provide more strategies to create a success mindset with a successful outcome.

Thank you for the privilege of connecting.

Wishing you success

Tric